Valentine’s day and Islam , Find your Valentine

Both of them were sitting on the rooftop of a restaurant. Hafeez presented a gift, chocolates and roses to Aleeza who was pleased and excited too. Hafeez was admiring her beauty and expressing his so called love for Aleeza. Both were in love from head to toe.
Same is the case in our society where doubtlessly teenagers call it “love”?

Let’s clarify the concept of real love and worth of Valentine’s day.

The Arabic word “Insan” is used in Quran for humans, The word takes its origin from “Uns” which means “To love”. So firstly Humans have the ability to love. In fact, humans are meant for love. We can show love for other humans, animals, we can love money , even toys and you can love yourself as well.

Anti Islamic History of Valentine’s day, myth or reality?

valentine day and islam

What I understood for valentine’s day, It is basically a day of love. So a day celebrating Human nature , A day celebrating love can’t be wrong. And let’s forget about the History, How it got started and who was St. Valentine. There is nothing against Islam in there because Islam came after 600 AD while the incident happened in 496 AD. So those which give an argument that Valentine’s day has some Anti Islamic History they are wrong or right? You can read other post about it because I am not writing about that in this post, because I believe we need to focus on the present day realities.

So a day celebrating Love that is Valentine’s day, Now let’s come back to our story, Hafeez loves Aleeza, Have you ever though Hafeez can be Aleeza’s husband. I am sure you never had a clue about it. I will justify with the unmarried couples later, but first lets move to married ones.

Valentine’s day and Islam [101]

It is 101 because it is about married couples,

The marriage is the beautiful gift of Allah. I don’t know what happens, but in our society the concept of Love after marriage gets weaker whether it is an arranged marriage or a love marriage. Love decreases a little bit over the years, probably hormones have something to do it. I do believe this will change as we are moving faster to a modern society, I said modern now that doesn’t mean we should move toward an unislamic society. The concept of Love is very much OK with Islam.

If Hafeez is married to Aleeza and is buying a gift for her , Allah will reward him for showing Love to his wife. And if Aleeza gets ready for Hafeez , she makes herself beautiful for her husband , Allah will reward her for that. So Allah is rewarding you for just Loving . The important thing is loving the right person that is your spouse. But you know question arises doing it on a particular day? I don’t want you to really get divided on this. At least He is doing this for his wife doing it on a particular day is better than not doing it for a whole year. And doing it every day, or every month is better than doing it on one particular day.

Unmarried couples and Valentine’s day

Now we come to couples who are unmarried and celebrating Valentine’s day. First you need to understand the concept of marriage and proposing someone for marriage in Islam. Firstly, no matter whose son you are, Your father is a General or Governor. Allah’s rules are same for you. And for sisters, no matter the guy loving you, is the most pious guy in this world. Allah’s rules are same for him and if he is not following them, he is not good.

Islam and concept of Love

First things first

unless you are married, he is not Mehram for you. So what ever the rules apply for a Non – Mehram you should follow them. You shouldn’t be in front of him. Shouldn’t talk with him without the purpose of marriage. And by talking I mean every kind of talking SMS, E-mails, Facebook chats. You know everything is included. It should be limited, very limited. You are talking every day and you think that is in line with the word limited I am sure it is not.Ventine day Love

You are allowed to talk only when there is something related to marriage is required to be discussed. And I say this to sisters because I believe you should be the one’s having more control over guys. We will come back to valentine’s day when we understand this concept completely.. Let me talk to guys first…

We all know our brains and what is going through them we all know that. So there is not much I am supposed to say here. Even if you are the World’s Best guy you start loving a girl and you will start getting those thoughts. So Brothers you can’t control your thoughts, but control your actions. If you love a girl alright, Let me ask you If Allah forbid she goes fatty would you still be loving her?, or her face gets burned by Acid would you still be loving her? so then what are you doing now is that really the love for her. You should like the girl you are getting married, but that doesn’t mean you go free and do anything you want. Just Stop it. Just stop those chats, those messages sent every day. You can destroy someone’s life anytime.

And There is no guarantee you would be able to marry her because there is no guarantee you will be able to marry her even if you really want to do it.

Valentine’s day and Islam [202]

Now we come to the basic question what Islam says about valentines day the way unmarried couples celebrate it. Sadly, as in our above discussion about Islam and concept of Love. There is no room for any kind of courtship before marriage. So sending flowers, Sending a gift of chocolates, all this is not allowed before marriage. What are you doing with her? Awaking her love for you before marriage, This can ultimately lead to destruction. And if you really love someone, The Best way is to tell your parents about it. You wouldn’t like to ruin her love, if you really love her.

A word about Valentine’s day and its modern origin

The modern concept of valentine’s day comes from the Novels of the 18th Century. So If a married couple exchange gifts on Valentine’s day would that make them go against Islam. I don’t think so. Let me Give you an example of Birthday’s, Islam doesn’t encourage celebration of Birthdays, only because people in general don’t celebrate it in the right way. There is music, etc on Birthday’s in the west. But In our country usually there are just cake and a few relatives celebrating So if nothing against Islam is done then It is ok to celebrate birthdays.

Why I don’t quote any Ayah or Hadith :

Valentine’s day became famous in the 18th Century so there is no hadith, or ayah dealing with the issue very particularly. Because In general, it is associated with unmarried couples so most Islamic Scholars say it shouldn’t be celebrated at all. Things like this can lead to destruction of youth. As far as married couples are concerned, I don’t think there is any issue in exchanging gifts on this particular day.

Lastly, I want to show you How Prophet showed her care and love toward Ayesha (R.A) so you may understand, Islam puts emphasize on Love between married couples.

The prophet was travelling out of Medina with Ayesha (R.A). Ayesha (R.A) was very fond of running and the Prophet (PBUH) knew it. As there was no one around so Prophet (PBUH) asked “Ayesha will you like to race.” Ayesha (R.A) agreed and they race and Ayesha (R.A) won it . After some years the couple had a race again and this time Prophet (PBUH) won it and the Prophet (PBUH) “this makes us equal now”.

So you can see How prophet (PBUH) cared for his wife, and as He (PBUH) was excess in loving his wives according to one of his Hadith.

Love is a beautiful thing and there is no doubt in the kind of society we live it can happen before marriage. The Best thing to do is to wait and tell your parents at the right time about because if you start celebrating your love before marriage, Allah will take away ‘Brakah’ from your married life.

6 replies
  1. Kainat Aqeel
    Kainat Aqeel says:

    Al-Bukhari narrated in his Sahih (book) that Abu Saeed Al-Khudri رضي الله عنه reported that Allah's Messenger صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم said: "You will indeed follow the ways of those before you, hand span by hand span, and an arms length after another. Even if they enter into a lizards hole, you will follow them. We asked, is it the Jews and the Christians? He صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم replied, Who else!"

    At-Tirmidhi narrated that Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنه reported that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم said: "He is not one of us who imitates other than us. Do not imitate the Jews or the Christians."

    barakAllahu feeki!

    Reply
  2. Waqar Akram
    Waqar Akram says:

    I completely Agree with this, what I wanted to say in a very light way. There is not much harm married couples exchange gifts as Islam encourages the love between married people. Though it is a 100 times better to do this on some other day.

    Reply
  3. Gohar Ejaz
    Gohar Ejaz says:

    @waqar.. 🙂 i agree most of ur post.
    but i am not getting it that why you have to say this..
    "atleast he is doing on that particular day for her wife"

    and yea, again, i agree that he or she(married) showing love and nothing wrong if they doing atleast on that day.. etc etc
    but isnt it sounds something like.. kinda..trynna 'fitting in the culture' type thing…??

    we have islam.. thats our culture and subhanAllah, there z so much beauty in the concept of relationships and love etc and how Allah taught us and i hope u do know and feel all that too..

    my point was, why do we have to compromise? yes we shouldnt be harsh and throw fatawas and arguments about history and awll.. BUT Also we shouldnt Compromise either. right na? 🙂

    Best way, as i think, is to teach those around us in a wise and best wa about what love is.. and this is what u also did in your post (y) but it would be even more lovely and cool if we dont take that day particular in any case. 🙂

    JazakAllah khayr

    Reply
  4. Waqar Akram
    Waqar Akram says:

    Mash Allah Gohar you are extremely right but the problem is in our society people don't understand Islam as you do , This is true for everyone of us
    "we have islam.. thats our culture and subhanAllah, .."
    But How many people practically follow this? A few I guess…

    That is why I said you know if married people are doing this, There is not much harm , They haven't done anything Haram, what they did is actually something Allah wants them to do. so debate about doing it on One particular day, would not mean anything to people, unless you are very close to religion.

    But if we start saying "do not give a gift to your wife on valentine's day" to a person who doesn't understand Islam,(even if a Muslim) he will start thinking religion is complex man, I can't follow it and he will go away from the basics as well.

    Truth is from Allah all we can do is to try to make things better ,

    Jaza ka Allah

    Reply
  5. Ahmar Hasnain
    Ahmar Hasnain says:

    Really good explanation of valentines day, which is closer to real life of a common Muslim.
    May ALLAH bless you brother.

    Reply

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